


Give Me the Freedom to Take Your Hands

by ChasingPeace



Series: If I Dress Up with Love [3]
Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/F, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-02-11 13:10:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12935982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasingPeace/pseuds/ChasingPeace
Summary: “We have been discussing this for awhile now,” Luka said. “We couldn’t help but notice … Every time we went out, we spent most of our time discussing you. Missing you. And after much consideration, we both came to the conclusion … It was because we wanted you to be a part of this. To be a part of us.”Or, Miku gets an offer she can't refuse, and gets a reaction she didn't expect.





	1. flowers have bloomed in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline wise, this takes place around 4 months after [Purple Flowers Falling from my Palm](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12844845/chapters/29330556). You might want to read that first, but you'll probably catch on if you don't.

Class was a _bore_.

The only thing that kept Miku from losing it was the knowledge that, after, Gumi would be waiting in their dorm room for her. She imagined cuddling up with her, whining, and maybe doing a little kissing. Or a lot of kissing. Since starting their little arrangement last semester, they had been doing quite a lot of that.

But when she finally dragged herself back to her room, Gumi wasn't alone. She was sitting on her bed, and Luka was sitting in the chair by her desk, facing her.

Miku liked Luka — liked kissing her just as much as she liked kissing Gumi, as a matter of fact. But ... Gumi and Luka were the ones dating, no matter how many kisses they gave her. And they looked like they were having a serious conversation. While Miku greatly enjoyed the company of both girls, she never wanted to come between them. Already, she was wondering if she could hang out in Rin and Len's room for a bit.

“Hi, guys. Am I interrupting something? I can leave, if you need me to.”

Luka shook her head. “Not at all. In fact, we were hoping you would be back soon. We have something we’d very much like to discuss with you.”

Miku had sort of been expecting this. Luka and Gumi had been transparent from the beginning, about the nature of their relationship. Luka had Meiko, and Gumi had lovers in the past, but ... they had never shared someone before like they shared Miku. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she was always wondering when they would decide that it wasn't working for them anymore.

But ... Luka's face was never very expressive, but she wasn't holding the little tells that Miku had come to associate with annoyance or sadness. And Gumi was actually smiling at her as she patted the bed next to her.

“Have a seat, cutie,” she said fondly. Miku did, and Gumi entwined their fingers immediately, which just made things more confusing.

“Miku,” Luka said in a solemn voice. “Gumi and I have been talking a lot lately. When we started … 'helping' you, we never imagined that such a deep bond would form from it. I was attracted to you, certainly —”

“Me, too,” Gumi added.

“But … you know, Miku, that Gumi and I consider each other to be our only true ‘partners.’ Meiko and I see each other regularly, and I care deeply about her, but neither of us have any inclination to call what we do ‘dating.’”

“And when I was seeing Flower, it was the same for me,” Gumi said. “I cared about zir, but ze wasn’t my partner.”

Miku felt an odd little lump in the pit of her stomach. “Um … what are you trying to say?”

Gumi hadn’t let go of her hand. And when Luka broke into one of her rare smiles, hope dared to bloom in Miku's chest. “I’m sorry, Miku,” she said. “I had this all planned out in my head … I read so much romance, but when I want to make a speech worthy of the pages, it falls flat.”

“What she’s trying to say,” Gumi said gently, “Is that we want you to be our girlfriend, Miku.”

There was a moment of silence. Miku hadn't _dared_ to dream about this. But the truth was, what started as an experiment had quickly become a habit, and then something to look forward to. She looked forward to spending time with Gumi and Luka, separate or together, kissing or cuddling or just hanging out. When she thought of her future, it was hard to imagine it without the two women in it. She always sort of imagined that she would find someone who was okay with an open relationship, like what Meiko had with Kaito.

She would have never guessed that the two women, who seemed to love each other so much, would ever want her to have a formal place in their dynamic.

Gumi’s fingertips were trailing up and down her arm, a fond motion that she often did. “Miku, you’re an amazing girl. So open, so true to yourself even as you figure out who ‘yourself’ is. It’s so admirable …  _ You’re _ so admirable.”

“We have been discussing this for awhile now,” Luka said. “We couldn’t help but notice … Every time we went out, we spent most of our time discussing you.  _ Missing _ you. And after much consideration, we both came to the conclusion … It was because we wanted you to be a part of this. To be a part of  _ us _ .”

Luka reached out and took one of Miku’s hands, gently. Gumi’s fingertips slid down to interlock with the fingers of Miku’s other hand.

“If you’ll have us,” Luka said gently. “We’d very much like to have you.”

Something she couldn't name welled up in Miku's chest, something that made her want to laugh, or sing, or cry. She brought both of their hands to her lips and kissed them instead. “Yes,” she said. “Yes — of course, I will, I want to, yes.”

Luka was covering her growing smile with her hand, and Gumi was staring at her with such unabashed fondness and love that Miku almost couldn't take it.

“So, um,” Miku said, tugging at the end of a twin tail self-consciously. “What does this mean for us, going forward?”

“Well, we want to take you on a real date, first off,” Gumi said, leaning her head against Miku’s shoulder. “Whether it’s the two of us together or one of us at a time is up to you.”

“This is new to us, too,” Luka said gently, stepping over so that she could sit on Miku’s other side. “So it will be a lot of experimentation on our side, too. We’ll discover what works for us together.”

The idea sent a little thrill through Miku. For so long, she felt like she was almost a student of the two women. But in this, they would be equals. What better way to enter into a relationship?

“We also think it’s best to make it clear,” Luka said, “That this relationship continues to be open. That means, if you fall for someone else, we encourage you to pursue them in whatever capacity works for you. We would just ask that you discuss it with us, should the need arise.”

“We’d do the same for you,” Gumi promised.

This was … a lot to take in. But not in a bad way. Miku smiled, squeezing the hands in her own. “Okay,” she said. “I … I just want you to know. That I’ve been … I’ve really been enjoying the time I’ve spent with you guys so far, and … and I’m really, really happy to hear that you love me as much as I …” She trailed off, her face heating up as she realized what she had said. “I-I mean …”

“Miku,” Gumi said softly. Miku felt heat creeping up her cheeks. Gumi rarely called her by name. “Of course I love you, too.”

Miku looked to Gumi, sitting on her left, to Luka, sitting on her right.

“I love you as well,” Luka said, kissing her on the forehead. “Perhaps pride or tradition dictate that we wait to say as much, but why bother? Nothing about our relationship is based in tradition.”

Miku laughed, nestling between both of them. “You’re right,” she said. “Of course you’re right. I-I love you guys, too. I've known it for awhile, I think, and ... and I'm really excited to finally be able to say it.”

Then both of their lips were on her, Gumi kissing her cheek and Luka kissing her temple. It was clumsy, and awkward (they had never tried both kissing her at the same time before), but that was okay. More than okay.

Together with them, it felt right. They'd figure things out together.


	2. to you who always listens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miku shares her news.

The next day, Miku found herself bursting with nervous energy. Luka was at her apartment studying, Gumi, Rin and Len were in class, and Miku found herself with a heart full of good news that she couldn’t share with anyone.

Well, she could talk to some of the GSA members, she guessed, but outside of Rin, Len and her girlfriends (her  _ girlfriends _ !), she didn’t know them all that well. The one she was closest to was Meiko, but … she didn’t think that she was  _ that _ close with her.

Besides, she wanted her best friend to be the first person to know. It only felt right.

As if summoned by her thoughts, her phone buzzed. Miku glanced at the screen, her heart jumping up when she saw who it was from.

_ Rin: class got out early ＼(＾▽＾)／ can i come over & chill????? _

Miku typed out a quick  _ yes wwwww _ , and waited by the door until she heard a knock.

“Sweet freedom!” was Rin’s chant as she skipped into the room. “Honestly, Professor Sekka seems nice and all, but what a  _ boring _ class!”

“What’s Len up to?” Miku resisted the urge to shift from foot to foot, like an impatient child. She  _ did _ care about what was going on in the twins’ lives. She shut the door behind Rin as she walked in.

Rin shrugged. “He went to hang out with Ritsu,” she said. “I guess she knows the best ramen place by campus? I think Len just wanted to hang out with her.”

Miku raised an eyebrow. “Does Len have a thing for her?”

“Nah, I think he’s just excited. He’s never known another trans person before.” She flopped down on Miku’s bed, kicking her legs back and forth. “So what’s up with you?”

Miku smiled, striving and failing to sound casual. “Well, actually, I have … news.”

Rin cocked her head to the side, giving Miku a curious look. “Yeah? What’s up?”

“Well, Gumi and Luka … They’ve asked me to date them. For real. And … I said yes!”

There was a moment of silence. Miku kept waiting for Rin’s facial expression to change, for her to realize what Miku said and smile, to congratulate her and be kind like she always was. But as the seconds ticked on, something cold and unsure wormed its way into the pit of Miku’s stomach.

Finally, Rin said, “Really?”

“Y-Yeah, I had a hard time believing it too, but —”

“No, I mean … are you really okay with this?”

Miku didn’t know what to say. Rin’s flat tone, her incredulous face, all of it was totally new. Rin was always her most supportive friend, the one who listened kindly and never judged. But Miku felt a whole lot of judgment coming off of her look.

“Rin, what are you saying?”

Rin took a deep breath. “Miku, look. I get that this is exciting for you, this … this trying out new things, figuring yourself out. It’s all really cool, but … if you aren’t careful, you’re going to wind up getting really hurt.”

Miku gripped the edge of her chair. “I don’t know what you mean,” she said.

“These girls … they’ve been seeing each other since they were high school, you said. And you really think you’re going to be let into their relationship as an equal? Miku, you have to know that they’re only ever going to see you as second best.”

The words sent a dagger through Miku’s heart. “T-That’s not true. I trust Gumi and Luka, they want me around!”

“As what, their  _ toy _ ?” Rin spat back. “You’ve only known them for a few months, Miku! How are you supposed to trust people you barely know!”

“I’ve known them for practically half a year,” Miku shot back. “And Gumi, I see her every day. She’s been nothing but kind to me.”

“Oh, so kindness is all it takes, huh?” Rin snapped.

Miku felt like she was missing something important. Her head was spinning with this reaction, one that seemed completely unlike the girl she had come to know. “Rin, you aren’t making any sense!”

“No, you’re not making any sense,” Rin said. “And when these girls wind up using you — wind up breaking your heart — don’t come crying to me. After all these years … I don’t know if I can stand putting the pieces back together.”

Miku blinked, stung. “I didn’t realize that being my friend was such a chore, Rin.”

Something flickered on Rin’s face — something raw and pained. Then, without a word, she stood up and walked away, slamming the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can write fluff from now until the end of eternity, but ask me to write a tense scene and I'll drag my feet for a year XD Anyways, this chapter was very hard!! I'm going to try and rush to reach the conclusion of this story because I have a LOT of stories I want to share, but I feel like I can't until this one is done lol. Comments mean the world to me!!


	3. my heart is drawn to her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miku talks things out with her girlfriends.

“I just don’t understand what happened.”

Miku leaned against Luka, drawing comfort from her arm around her shoulder, from Gumi’s hand on her back. Being with her girlfriends still filled her with a sense of joy and peace, but something was different now. Because she knew that the girl who should have been supporting her most didn’t want her here.

“Sometimes, people do not understand us,” Luka said. “Gumi and I have both lost friendships because of who were are, in the past.”

“But — But Rin isn’t like that,” Miku protested. “She has no problem with Len being trans, and she’s the one who helped me figure out that I was demi! It doesn’t make sense for her to not accept this.”

Gumi and Luka exchanged a look. “You know,” Gumi said gently. “I had a friend in high school. And when Luka and I opened up our relationship … he got very jealous. He didn’t understand how I could want to date multiple people at once, but not want to date him.”

Miku frowned a little. “I … don’t think that’s it, either,” she said quietly. “Rin’s straight.”

“How do you know?” Luka said. “Sometimes, the way she looks at you …”

“And the way you look at her,” Gumi agreed.

“It makes one wonder,” Luka finished.

Miku looked down at her hands, twisting them in her lap. “I-I …” She wasn’t sure what to say. She knew Gumi and Luka wouldn’t judge her, or be angry with her. But she hadn’t even let herself think the words for so long, much less say them out loud.

Gumi’s hand slid across her neck, a gentle, comforting caress. Luka held her a little closer. Neither of them interrupted or felt the need to force the words out of her.

“I … have considered it,” Miku finally admitted. “Rin is important to me. But she’s important to me as a friend, too. I really wouldn’t be sad if that’s the way things stayed, you know? I’d just also be okay if we became …. More.”

Gumi nodded. “I’ve had a few friends like that in the past. Actually, I’m still friends with some of them — like Gakupo, you know him?”

Miku nodded. Gakupo showed up to GSA meetings regularly, and she supposed that he was pretty friendly with both Gumi and Luka.

“I’ve had friends like that in the past, as well,” Luka agreed. “It’s not strange at all to be content with either or.”

“What I’m  _ not _ okay with is the idea of losing her,” Miku admitted. She was embarrassed to hear her voice get a little choked up. The idea of never talking to Rin again made her heart ache hollowly. Rin had been a part of her life for almost as long as she could remember. They’d always been best friends.

How could she even consider losing that?

Luka leaned against her on one side, and Gumi on the other. “I don’t think that’ll happen,” Gumi said comfortingly. “She may have reacted weird, but you know that she cares for you just as much as you care about her.”

“So what do I do?” Miku asked.

“I might suggest letting her come to you,” Luka said. “After she has had time to process. Give her a few days to calm down, and then if she has not reached out, you can go to her, calmly, and ask to speak.”

The idea of waiting days to speak to Rin wasn’t a pleasant one. When was the last time that they had gone a day without at least Snapchatting each other? She let out a big sigh, letting herself sink into the embrace of her girlfriends.

“For the record,” Luka said, her tone just slightly stiffer than usual. It was the tone she used when she was trying to think through her words carefully. “If the circumstance were to arise, where you and Rin decided to date, I would not be opposed.”

“Me, either,” Gumi agreed. “If that comes up, you have our permission.”

Despite what they said earlier, Miku didn’t really think that it would come up. But the optimistic, happy vision of the future, one where she could be with the three women who meant so much to her, made her feel warmer inside than she had felt since Rin had slammed the door behind her.

“Will you stay over tonight, Luka?” Miku asked gently. “You can stay in Gumi’s bed, I just … I’d like it if I could be near both of you, tonight.”

There was a brief flash of warmth as Luka pressed her lips against the top of Miku’s head. “Of course, sweetheart,” she said.

Gumi pressed a kiss to her cheek. And for the rest of the night, Miku tried to convince herself that things might turn out okay, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I'm posting Chapter 4 in like 2 seconds, please standby.


	4. hiding away the pace of your heartbeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conclusion

It was only the next day when Miku heard a knock on her door.

Luka had gone home to shower and change earlier in the day, and Gumi had just left for class. Miku thought that maybe her roommate had forgotten her keys. But when she opened the door, Rin was standing there, looking at her feet.

“Oh … hi.” Miku didn’t know what to say. She was afraid that if she said the wrong thing, Rin would run away — or maybe start yelling again.

The other girl pulled at her sleeves anxiously. “Can I … come in?”

“Yeah,” Miku said, stepping aside. “Yeah, of course.”

The second she shut the door, Rin started talking. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I was a shitty friend, the other day. I really hurt you and I’m  _ sorry _ .”

Miku didn’t hesitate. She reached out and pulled Rin into a hug, a hand to the back of the blonde girl’s head. “I forgive you, Rin,” she said. “Of course I do.”

Rin’s face was too warm against her chest. She felt the girl’s smaller hands fist against the back of her blouse, felt her trembling slightly. Everything about her showed just how badly she felt about what she said. If Miku hadn’t already forgiven her, she would have in that moment.

They were silent for a long moment. Miku rocked them back and forth gently, relishing the warmth of the smaller girl’s body. Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes when she thought of how close she came to losing this. To losing  _ Rin _ .

When Rin finally pulled away, her face was set, and her eyes were dry. “I want you to know … I really  _ am _ happy for you. What I said before … It was heat of the moment, it caught me by surprise. I want you to be happy, Miku, and I’m really, really glad that Luka and Gumi make you happy. It was wrong of me to imply anything else.”

“I get that you … want what’s best for me,” Miku said carefully. “But I can’t help but think … that wasn’t all there was to it, was there?”

Rin winced a little. “It’s … It’s whatever, Miku. I was wrong.”

“It’s not whatever! You’re my friend, Rin.” She took Rin’s hand gently, and was happy when the other didn’t pull away. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”

Rin frowned. “I don’t want — you don’t deserve excuses, Miku. You deserve a genuine apology, because I messed up. I’m not going to try and — and justify it with bullshit.”

Miku squeezed gently. “You aren’t,” she said. “You gave me your apology, and now I’m  _ asking _ . Rin … What prompted all of that?”

Rin pushed her bangs back from her forehead, sighing. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess it’s just … you’ve really flourished here, you know? You’re — You’re doing so well, you’re exploring all of these things and capturing hearts.” She let out a laugh. “And — And look at me. I’m nineteen and I look like I’m twelve. The idea of dating is ridiculous. Who is going to date me like this? I’m everyone’s cute friend, but you’ll never see me as anything more, and I just guess I was …” Her eyes widened as she realized what she said. “I mean … I mean you as in like, in  _ general _ , I … I …”

Miku felt her heart pounding in her throat. “Rin, are you telling me that you … have feelings for me?”

There was a silence that seemed to scream between them. Rin covered her face with a hand. “Shit,” she said. “Shit. I didn’t want — the last thing you need right now is for me to …”

“You’re wrong,” Miku said quietly.

Rin’s trembling stilled. “What?”

“Rin, I … You’re  _ beautiful _ . All of this stuff you’re saying about yourself, I never even considered. I’d … I’d love to date you. If you wanted.”

The blonde girl frowned. “I don’t need pity,” she said, and her voice was so quiet it broke Miku’s heart. “Please, don’t say things you don’t mean. I can’t bare it. I — I can’t.”

Miku didn’t know what to do. She wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. She wanted to close the distance between them the way she had half-imagined doing a thousand times, the way that she almost did that afternoon in November.

Instead, she said, “I like your eyes.”

Rin blinked. “What?”

Miku clenched her fists tightly. “Your eyes are beautiful. Clear and blue and wide, with long eyelashes. And your skin is clear and honestly, sometimes so flawless that I’m jealous. Your legs …” She could feel her face heating up, but she forced herself to continue. “When you wear thigh highs with your shorts, there’s nothing childish about those, Rin Kagamine. And your heart …” She sighed. “Rin, you have one of the kindest, most wonderful hearts I have ever known. And the only reason I didn’t come to you sooner is because I figured … you’re so open, you’re so honest, so nonjudgemental. I figured you’d have no reason to hide the fact that you weren’t straight, because I had no idea — no idea that you were feeling this way about yourself. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to carry this on your own for so long. But, no matter where you want to take us after this … you won’t have to carry that alone anymore. Whether you want me as a friend or something more … I’m yours.”

There was silence for a long moment. It was so long that for a second Miku was almost sure that Rin was going to run away.

But then the other girl’s face trembled and started to break. She reached her arms out towards Miku, her eyes pleading, and Miku swept Rin into her arms just as the smaller girl began to sob.

“I want you,” Rin cried. “Of course I want you.”

Falling in love with Gumi was sweet like soda, laughter like carbonation bubbling in her chest. Falling in love with Luka was warm like the glow of a fire, and sometimes it felt too intense to touch. Miku loved both of them, cherished both of them, but being with them always felt like an adventure.

Being with Rin felt like home.

“I’m sorry,” Rin said when she finally got under control. “This isn’t — I don’t know if this is how you wanted this to happen, or —”

Without a word, Miku leaned forward and kissed her. A simple peck — nothing like the experimental first kisses she had shared with Gumi and Luka. But good for them.  _ Right _ for them.

And as she watched the grin spread across Rin’s cheeks, she knew that the other girl felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if this feels a little rushed ... it's because it is? I wasn't having as much fun with this story as I was with the other ones, probably because I felt like I HAD to write this one to establish the relationship dynamic before posting the other lighter, fluffier things. But I literally MADE this account and this AU to have fun, and to let off some steam in privacy, because I tend to do this thing where I take all my writing projects too seriously, where I worry too much about what people will think, where I feel forced to stick to a set schedule and I don't let myself experiment at all, and I sort of felt myself doing that with this one ... SO. I DECIDED TO JUST FINISH THIS DANG FIC AND LET IT BE. So that I can post other things that I actually enjoy.
> 
> And in the interest of full disclosure, some "other things" might be nsfw in the future. I'll be collecting those on this account, but under a different series collection (I think I'm calling it "chasing a happy feeling") so that this one can continue to be just "M" instead of "E" (realistically it's probably T, despite steamy smooches. But whatever). I have a few of those half-written, so keep an eye out!!! And of course I'll keep telling sfw stories here as well, I have some of those half-written too. I don't know when I'll have the time to polish them exactly — I'm about to start the next draft in my novel, and I'm trying really hard not to pressure myself with this AU. I really want to keep it as something that I enjoy ONLY, not something that I feel obligated to do or make a certain way.
> 
> All that said, though, I do hope you enjoyed it this far!! And that you like Miku and her many gfs.


End file.
